-Master
Monday, December 27, 2010
Things i can't stand
There is one thing i cannot stand. Well more than one thing but... the one that irks me the most is the feeling of being compared to someone else. Majority of my life i felt like other people were always comparing my bad mistakes to someone else's "goodness". For example my getting bad grades in school was always: "Why can't you have good grades like so and so. She made the honor roll.. what wrong with you?" or when i was going through my "troublesome" teenage years it was like "Why cant you act like such and such's daughter?? She"s such a great example of a young lady. Why don't you try hanging around her?" or in relationships "Why can you act/do things like ___ did/does/used to?" Maybe its just me being paranoid or.. i don't know. To some people, that type of thing motivates them to become better, encourages them to work hard and shine so they can become the standard everyone else looks up to and prove others wrong. me... its the opposite. Comparing me to someone else will make me not give a fuck. I wont care about how you feel or how you want me to be. In fact, I may become worse because i feel like you are not willing to accept me for me; a person who makes mistakes, who will fuck something up from time to time because that's what humans do.
I guess im just too emotional. Certain things should not affect me the way that they do but some times my emotions take me back to a very dark place that i wish not to be. Its some things that i continue to struggle with everyday. It is my demon, my darkness, my alter ego. *shrug* i guess ill get over it one day....
I guess im just too emotional. Certain things should not affect me the way that they do but some times my emotions take me back to a very dark place that i wish not to be. Its some things that i continue to struggle with everyday. It is my demon, my darkness, my alter ego. *shrug* i guess ill get over it one day....
Recap: BDsm 101
BDsM 101: Forms of address.
Not so much for the Master/Dom but, for the bottom/slave. Its important that the bottom/slave show the utmost respect to their Top but utilizing the proper form of address as directed by their superior. This proves devotion, loyalty,humility and shows that the bottom acknowledges the Dominants partner's higher status. Most Tops require to be addressed properly at all times and may even have alternative exceptions depending on place and time.
BDsM 101: Importance of Honor, Friendship, Humility, and Integrity in a relationship
A BDSM relationship is comprised of many separate entities working together to become one great power. It takes more than just the action of being Dominant and submissive. There are building blocks that are a necessity to make a relationship work, whether you are taking part in this lifestyle or whether you are involved in a "vanilla" relationship. Both Top/bottom parties must have trust in each other. Both parties must be totally honest or the relationship will fail. Hence, trust and respect will be established by having a solid friendship first. In my opinion, as eager as either or both parties may be to engage in a BDsM relationship, it should not be rushed. Take time to fully understand and study the way you function as individuals. This may take months or even years but i believe it will maximize the full potential of whatever one may seek to gain from the union. A bottom needs to express open and forthright to the Top any emotional struggles/concerns . Failure to do so may confuse the Top and there can be misunderstandings of what the bottom may really need. Avoid giving mixed signals. A bottom should never respond to his/her Top's inquiries with what he/she thinks the Top want to hear but should only respond with honest and truthful responses to ensure that both parties are fully in sync with each other at all times. Failure to do so can break connections within the relationship and weaken the bond. On another note, a Top is not obligated to disclose any information to the bottom as long as whatever He/She does share is truthful. A bottom's behavior should reflect that of the Top's at all times. A sub should always be more than happy to complete tasks set for him/her by their Dom. A subs consistent attentiveness and positive attitude toward the Dom is what others judge the relationship by. Those on the outside looking in will be impressed at the devotion of the sub and the power of the Dom. A healthy relationship will never be ignored or passed off. It is admired even when you think no one notices. A successful relationship, especially one with a long history is a great accomplishment. It proves the fidelity of both parties, that one one is willing to give up on the other, to push for bigger and better things, to reach way beyond set goals.
Not so much for the Master/Dom but, for the bottom/slave. Its important that the bottom/slave show the utmost respect to their Top but utilizing the proper form of address as directed by their superior. This proves devotion, loyalty,humility and shows that the bottom acknowledges the Dominants partner's higher status. Most Tops require to be addressed properly at all times and may even have alternative exceptions depending on place and time.
BDsM 101: Importance of Honor, Friendship, Humility, and Integrity in a relationship
A BDSM relationship is comprised of many separate entities working together to become one great power. It takes more than just the action of being Dominant and submissive. There are building blocks that are a necessity to make a relationship work, whether you are taking part in this lifestyle or whether you are involved in a "vanilla" relationship. Both Top/bottom parties must have trust in each other. Both parties must be totally honest or the relationship will fail. Hence, trust and respect will be established by having a solid friendship first. In my opinion, as eager as either or both parties may be to engage in a BDsM relationship, it should not be rushed. Take time to fully understand and study the way you function as individuals. This may take months or even years but i believe it will maximize the full potential of whatever one may seek to gain from the union. A bottom needs to express open and forthright to the Top any emotional struggles/concerns . Failure to do so may confuse the Top and there can be misunderstandings of what the bottom may really need. Avoid giving mixed signals. A bottom should never respond to his/her Top's inquiries with what he/she thinks the Top want to hear but should only respond with honest and truthful responses to ensure that both parties are fully in sync with each other at all times. Failure to do so can break connections within the relationship and weaken the bond. On another note, a Top is not obligated to disclose any information to the bottom as long as whatever He/She does share is truthful. A bottom's behavior should reflect that of the Top's at all times. A sub should always be more than happy to complete tasks set for him/her by their Dom. A subs consistent attentiveness and positive attitude toward the Dom is what others judge the relationship by. Those on the outside looking in will be impressed at the devotion of the sub and the power of the Dom. A healthy relationship will never be ignored or passed off. It is admired even when you think no one notices. A successful relationship, especially one with a long history is a great accomplishment. It proves the fidelity of both parties, that one one is willing to give up on the other, to push for bigger and better things, to reach way beyond set goals.
Team work makes the dream work.
In a past blog, i wrote about being part of the bigger picture in relation to "The Greater Good". My Master believes that W/we should continuously find ways to make his "empire" work and expand. Of course this means adding people to make this thing work. I wont go to much more into detail about "The Greater Good", but if u are interested, Master can be contacted via @8PathZen on twitter. But my point is having more willing participants will bring about the success that W/we seek in great leaps and bounds. Those who choose to be apart of His Dominion will be supplied with all the tools they need to become a better, stronger individual. Think Maslow's hierarchy of human needs: physiological needs, safety and security, love and belongingness, ego self esteem, and self actualization. He is 100% real, always honest, is the epitome of a man that every woman ever wanted.
What does it take? Hunger and eagerness to please, submission, loyalty, obedience,devotion, and having ambition to make the dream come true. Want to learn more? Inquire within.
What does it take? Hunger and eagerness to please, submission, loyalty, obedience,devotion, and having ambition to make the dream come true. Want to learn more? Inquire within.
Caution: This is a life changing decision. Things will never be the same. Don't inquire if your stuck on carrying on with life's bullshit. This is only for those who are willing to open their eyes that have been blinded by the world and want to fully acquire their fullest potential. Get with the program.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Total Lunar Eclipse during Winter Solstice 12-21-10
This picture was taken while the moon was full before the actual eclipse started. The moon was too dark for me to snap a pic of it from my phone so i took this right before. It was beautiful. The way the bugs are attracted to the fluorescent lights that zap and kill them, thats how i reacted tot the moon. I just could not stop looking, especially when it started turning this beautiful amber-reddish color. I also felt very energized and felt some kind of aura, similar to when Master and i experience power exchange. He felt the same wat too. W/we were texting each other back and forth...Too bad the next one will be in 2094 when im dead and gone. But at least i lived to see this :)
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
It gets better...
i went to see Him today. It was a short visit. W/we watched pimpin movies. i gave Him his pre -Christmas gifts. i was still feeling down. i didn't want to but the way i been feeling for the past few weeks combined with the fact that he was holding me close, and touching me and all that became overwhelming for a bit. i was just frustrated with our minor disagreements that always turn into huge arguments. i was mad at myself because i often feel like i have failed or that i am failing in life. i admit that i am also pushing my frustration out on others at times. These feelings are just really hard to deal with. Working everyday with no days off is not helping either cuz both of my jobs become very stressful at times, more often than not. But anyway i'm glad i saw Him. i'm not 100% better but I do feel like He absorbed some of my negative energy and gave me some of his strength, at least enough so i can get through a 24 hour period with out crying.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
:(
I feel like I'm losing it. Too much. My sanity is slipping. I feel it. The feeling of screaming at the top of my lungs but no one hears me. Sometimes, I get tired of pulling it together. I'm tired of being so strong. I get angry so fast now. Everything makes me cry. Really sucks when I'm at work and tears just start rolling down my cheek. My body is in autopilot. Sometimes I get in my car and next thing I know, I'm home, don't even remember driving. *sigh* my heart hurts. Been hurting for awhile but I have always been able to suppress the bad feelings. Nowadays it gets harder and harder. Tired. Being pulled in so many direction everyday
......
What have I become? Where/what am I?
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
......
What have I become? Where/what am I?
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
PunisHER
i have a thing for pain. Its my source of pleasure. i do not wish to displease my Master, but sometimes i look forward to the repercussions. It turns me on when He grabs me rough and chokes me and reminds me that i'm a bitch and i need to stay in my place. i don't want to make Him mad, but something is so attractive about Him when He is scolding and giving me physical discipline. i'm addicted to His power and passion. O/our power exchange is a beautiful thing. W/we thrive so much off of each other that it sometimes seems as though we are dependant on each other to exist. Ok maybe that may be a little far fetched but you have to be in my shoes to understand where i'm coming from.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
From the beginning.....
i received some new instructions from Master. i'll get into that later. i found this email i'm gonna post in the next few lines. This is how it all started....
i believe that i have been introduced to a new chapter in my life that i am very eager to take part of. i've always wanted to engadge in having the oppurtunity to submit to someone comfortable enough to dominate me ... even if it is against my own will. This some what "secret" lifestyle will give me the oppurtunity to totally use myself for the satisfaction of someone else. i am very sassy and can be outspoken and love to have the upper hand majority of the time. i would enjoy going through the process of having someone "tame" me and use me for their own personal pleasure. Though this is not something i will do as a permanent role, i am more than willing to take on my role as necessary and at the request of my dominator. i have started doing research on the topic of BSDM and though i dont agree with everything, i am facinated with the unknown pleasure i can recieve from this experience.
In going into my role as a submissive, i want to be put into my "subspace" so i can be at my most comfortable and relaxed state in preperation for me to fulfill what my dominant want me to do. I want to be rewarded well for my good deeds and punished well for my bad deeds.i accept that i will be physically punished and called what ever my dominant feels i should be addressed as during that time if im bad and i am willing to accept. i accept punishment if my dominant feels i am trying to willfully act on my own feelings/actions or if i willfully go against rules. i at no time want to feel that i am in control. i want the illusion that my very existance depends on that of the one who controls me.
I have researched terms of the BSDM world that held intrest to me:
Gag ball: A device used to prevent a sub from speaking or crying out.
Bondage: Technique used to render a submissive physically helpless.
Bottom: A person who recieves pain or bondage in an SM scene
Breath Control: A form of edgeplay in which the top restricts the bottom's ability to breathe by constricting the neck of blocking mouth/nose.
Collar: Worn around the neck, signifies ownership;wearer is property of dominant
Collaring ceremony: Domplaces collar on sub as a formalized commitment
Erotic Power Exchange: Two partners exchange power in an erotic setting.
Head play: AKA mind play, mind fucking, head games-any kind of manipulation by dom that hieghtens anticipation and fear in an emtionally masochistic bottom in which intensifies the bottom's ertoic response. Includes verbal abuse or complex senerios that confuse/surprise bottom into deeper subspace.
Masochism: Ability to derive pleasure form pain.
Power exchange: consensual transfer of power from sub to dom. Exchange takes place when returned energy from dom empowers submissive
SAM(smart ass masochist):A sub who knowingly misbehaves in order to recieve attention.
Subspace: A trance-like state of mind and body the sub experiences during a scene.
As of yesterday Dec. 11,2008, upon the consent of my dom, i (un)offcially offer my self to commence the role of a subbmissive upon the request of my dominant.
Although Master and i have been knowing each other for almost 10 years, the BDsM part of O/our relationship is within these past 3 years or so. Itss really cool that we had a well estabblished friendship before wW/we got into the lifestyle. It helps up maintain the bonds W/we share. Even if i one day decide that this lifestyle is no longer what i want, Master and i will still remain the best of friends.
Over the next few days, i will be posting emails that i sent to Master when our D/s relationship began. It was back when i was "hungry" for what i wanted. Reading them again is helpful so that i wont forget how eager i was to please Him and meet His needs..
i believe that i have been introduced to a new chapter in my life that i am very eager to take part of. i've always wanted to engadge in having the oppurtunity to submit to someone comfortable enough to dominate me ... even if it is against my own will. This some what "secret" lifestyle will give me the oppurtunity to totally use myself for the satisfaction of someone else. i am very sassy and can be outspoken and love to have the upper hand majority of the time. i would enjoy going through the process of having someone "tame" me and use me for their own personal pleasure. Though this is not something i will do as a permanent role, i am more than willing to take on my role as necessary and at the request of my dominator. i have started doing research on the topic of BSDM and though i dont agree with everything, i am facinated with the unknown pleasure i can recieve from this experience.
In going into my role as a submissive, i want to be put into my "subspace" so i can be at my most comfortable and relaxed state in preperation for me to fulfill what my dominant want me to do. I want to be rewarded well for my good deeds and punished well for my bad deeds.i accept that i will be physically punished and called what ever my dominant feels i should be addressed as during that time if im bad and i am willing to accept. i accept punishment if my dominant feels i am trying to willfully act on my own feelings/actions or if i willfully go against rules. i at no time want to feel that i am in control. i want the illusion that my very existance depends on that of the one who controls me.
I have researched terms of the BSDM world that held intrest to me:
Gag ball: A device used to prevent a sub from speaking or crying out.
Bondage: Technique used to render a submissive physically helpless.
Bottom: A person who recieves pain or bondage in an SM scene
Breath Control: A form of edgeplay in which the top restricts the bottom's ability to breathe by constricting the neck of blocking mouth/nose.
Collar: Worn around the neck, signifies ownership;wearer is property of dominant
Collaring ceremony: Domplaces collar on sub as a formalized commitment
Erotic Power Exchange: Two partners exchange power in an erotic setting.
Head play: AKA mind play, mind fucking, head games-any kind of manipulation by dom that hieghtens anticipation and fear in an emtionally masochistic bottom in which intensifies the bottom's ertoic response. Includes verbal abuse or complex senerios that confuse/surprise bottom into deeper subspace.
Masochism: Ability to derive pleasure form pain.
Power exchange: consensual transfer of power from sub to dom. Exchange takes place when returned energy from dom empowers submissive
SAM(smart ass masochist):A sub who knowingly misbehaves in order to recieve attention.
Subspace: A trance-like state of mind and body the sub experiences during a scene.
As of yesterday Dec. 11,2008, upon the consent of my dom, i (un)offcially offer my self to commence the role of a subbmissive upon the request of my dominant.
Although Master and i have been knowing each other for almost 10 years, the BDsM part of O/our relationship is within these past 3 years or so. Itss really cool that we had a well estabblished friendship before wW/we got into the lifestyle. It helps up maintain the bonds W/we share. Even if i one day decide that this lifestyle is no longer what i want, Master and i will still remain the best of friends.
Over the next few days, i will be posting emails that i sent to Master when our D/s relationship began. It was back when i was "hungry" for what i wanted. Reading them again is helpful so that i wont forget how eager i was to please Him and meet His needs..
Friday, December 3, 2010
By George, i think i've got it!!
Hello friends. i've been busy, busy, busy with work and all. Life is blah.. well, i guess it could be worse though. On the bright side, i have decided to start school again. It's been damn near 10 years and i feel like im not doing enough in life. So starting in the spring of this year, i will at least take a class. i really wanna learn and become proficient in ASL. Pay is great and plus i will be certified in another language and thats pretty cool.
Master and i are doing ok. The past few weeks have been kind of up and down mostly due to me. Iono... i have this rebellion thing going on and im not really sure why. i think its because i miss him so much. i miss O/our power exchanges and frequent adventures. i will admit that sometimes i do crave punishments, which Master happens to be extremely good at (bittersweet). i actually saw Him last night after i got off of work. my attitude wasn't right and i was determined to make some kind of point and somewhat set Him straight. lol! What a fail. Who do i think i am right? He let me pick out my punishment tool, then He gave me the biggest embrace, then commenced with bringing the pain. Then He hugged me again afterwards. And we talked, touched, played, He pulled and twisted my nipples so hard that i came and bit my neck so hard it left a bruise but it feels so good.. He had me feeling good...i had Him feeling good. He kissed the back of my neck and i had no idea how stimulated my body got when He did that. I literally felt shock waves surge through my body. It was almost too much to handle. He pulled me into the bathroom, kissed the back of my neck while pinching my nipples so hard but it felt so fucking good. With me facing the wall he pulled me closer, grabbed my neck and fucked me so good while he choked me. my pussy was so wet as He slid His dick in and out of me, i bent over even more so that he could penetrate me even deeper. *sigh* :) i am all smiles... It was sad to leave Him though, that's the worst part of seeing Him. Oh!!!! Did i mention that He gave me gifts? He bought the 100 position Sex Bible >:D annnnd He got me a card but i asked Him if he could keep it and write something special in it:)
Wow i kinda got way off subject but the whole reason i wrote was because i finally came up with a concept for my tattoo, in which i wanted to incorporate my BDSM lifestyle. Of course i have to run it through Master first to see if He approves, but i am confident that He will. Oh look... there He is texting me now ....
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Absent
Feeling "some type of way". i am feeling alot of emotions right now and i'm not sure im ready to handle them all. i need a drink or a controlled substance....
**sigh**....
i dont really feel like talking... well i do but only to a stranger... someone that does not know my hiistory.. maybe they will be a little less likely to judge me. i really dont have much to say... dont even know why i am writing this.....
**sigh**....
i dont really feel like talking... well i do but only to a stranger... someone that does not know my hiistory.. maybe they will be a little less likely to judge me. i really dont have much to say... dont even know why i am writing this.....
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thanksgiving II
#fistpump !! #thatisall
ima make this quick, but i had a blast today! Master came over and met the fam. It went well... considering they were pretty much on their best behavior. i was kinda busy with helping out in the kitchen. Master said He was feeling a little left out. i'm not really a good hostess. I guess he probably thought i was leaving Him alone or deserting Him. Maybe He forgot that i can't help but to help someone when they need help.... and my aunt was pretty much doing everything by herself. I guess I could have did somethings a little better, idk. i'm always fuckin some shit up. i mean i was nervous but i mean.. lol.. i didn't know what to do. Master is the first and only guy (of importance) that has been brought home to my family. i don't know, i guess i could have been better at making sure he was more comfortable. i will do better next time. But anyway, W/we ate until we couldn't anymore, He parlayed with Granny (who likes him btw) , i gave him a little surprise gift, W/we watched movies in our makeshift home theater. Unfortunately all good things come to an end but my ending was... phenomenal. A quickie.. 45 mins (yea to U/us that's a quickie)of Him rubbing my clit till I was ready to squirt, me licking his dick a little, sitting on His lap and letting His dick penetrate my pussy as this angle that just......sent a shiver from the top of my head to my toes. Damn it was so good :D specially when He pinched n played with my nipples. He always knows what to do to get my body going. I love Him so much. Being able to have access to His Greatness..... that's something to be thankful for.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
ima make this quick, but i had a blast today! Master came over and met the fam. It went well... considering they were pretty much on their best behavior. i was kinda busy with helping out in the kitchen. Master said He was feeling a little left out. i'm not really a good hostess. I guess he probably thought i was leaving Him alone or deserting Him. Maybe He forgot that i can't help but to help someone when they need help.... and my aunt was pretty much doing everything by herself. I guess I could have did somethings a little better, idk. i'm always fuckin some shit up. i mean i was nervous but i mean.. lol.. i didn't know what to do. Master is the first and only guy (of importance) that has been brought home to my family. i don't know, i guess i could have been better at making sure he was more comfortable. i will do better next time. But anyway, W/we ate until we couldn't anymore, He parlayed with Granny (who likes him btw) , i gave him a little surprise gift, W/we watched movies in our makeshift home theater. Unfortunately all good things come to an end but my ending was... phenomenal. A quickie.. 45 mins (yea to U/us that's a quickie)of Him rubbing my clit till I was ready to squirt, me licking his dick a little, sitting on His lap and letting His dick penetrate my pussy as this angle that just......sent a shiver from the top of my head to my toes. Damn it was so good :D specially when He pinched n played with my nipples. He always knows what to do to get my body going. I love Him so much. Being able to have access to His Greatness..... that's something to be thankful for.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thanksgiving
HEEEYYYYYYY! i'm feeling better :) And yourself? Well Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I cant wait till tommorow, not just for the food but because Master is coming over :D . Yea, my mom said I can bring some friends over if i wanted to and of course He was the first and only person that came to mind. So i told Him about it and He agreed to come. i'm a little nervous though just cuz my family is crazy as hell and they gonna be all in my business but when are they never not in my shit?? lol My mom and my aunt can't wait to meet Him and even my son got excited. You would thing Jesus himself was coming over... yea its that crazy but everyone is gonna have fun and such. i'm so happy i finally fave the holidays off this year. Its been a while since i have so i'm thankful for that. Well i'm supposed to be working... Ya'll aint finna make me get in trouble... hahaha.
Empty
I feel useless. I went to see Master today. It could have been fun. But I always find a way to fuck shit up. That's my specialty.. Fuckin shit up. I did His hair, W/we say Megamind, which was awesome by the way. I'm not really gonna go into detail but things could have been better. It was my fault though.. Well and Panera Bread for fuckin my food up. I didn't have to get choked but it was my fault. And it was over something stupid that I tried to hide that I really didn't have to. I'm sorry it happened. I'm sorry for a lot of things. But instead of wallowing in sadness, I cover it up with anger, carelessness, aggressiveness, and hostility. And as usual, I push away the people that care about me most. I don't know why.. Maybe cuz everyone has their own problems. Maybe I am doing it as a form of self punishment, makin other people mad at me and forcing them away, which will leave me alone to continue to feel sorry for myself. I don't feel like myself. I mean I know people evolve as they get older... Things change. But I just feel like I am not me. Kinda like waking up and looking in the mirror and seeing your own reflection. I feel like I'm a stranger to myself. I won't lie. Master keeps me going. He has unrelentingly stuck by my side through thick and thin but sometimes, especially this past year it seem that I just keep fuckin shIt up. Sometimes I wanna just say fuck it and tell him to go because He really is a good Man and he deserves someone that can give him the world. I just feel like I don't have anything to offer anymore, like I'm not good enough. I am feeling to many emotions I don't know how to focus. I can't focus anymore. Master I doing his best to keep me on the right track.. But .. I don't even try anymore. I think I'm in the late stages of giving up on myself. I don't know what to do. I feel so stupid. I know Master is here to help whenever I need him. I just feel like I deserve to just..let my sorrows consume me and.. Hope for the best, if anything good can ever come out of that..
**sigh**..
How bout a game of Russian Roulette...??
**sigh**..
How bout a game of Russian Roulette...??
Friday, November 19, 2010
I need you
Master got sick and was not feeling well.. He was actually very sick. He called me and my heart just kinda dropped when i heard His voice. i wish i could have been there with Him to help Him through it. i was really scared . i stayed on the phone curled up on the floor and made sure that He kept talking to me. i kept repeating His name over and over so He knew i was still with Him. He eventually started to slowly come back around. my phone started to die. i told Him i would turn my phone off to let it charge faster so that i could call Him back asap. While i waited for my phone to get some juice, i realized how much i needed Him. It just really became clear how deep O/our power exchange goes. Its beyond role playing in a scene. Its a continuous give and take of emotions that continue to make O/our bond stronger, deeper. i am so committed to Him. i really can't explain. i'm am very lucky to have Him as friend, confidant, Master.. More importantly as a definition of a real man. i feel like my existence greatly depends on Him.. He has that much affect on my life. And its all positive. i wouldn't trade O/our bond for anything in the world.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Monday, November 1, 2010
The Wood
(This is an old post i found on my phone....)
*stretching* Good morning. i know its been awhile. Miss me much? No??!! What you mean :( oh well i have been working trying to make it. My birthday is next week.. Friday to be exact. Supposed to be spending a 3 day vacation with him. i can't wait. W/we were SUPPOSED to be celibate until then but ummm haha #fail. i went to see Master last night to cheer him up cuz he has been feeling down lately. i don't like to see Him that way at all so i said i would come just to give him a hug, you know... Be supportive. So W/we drove a little to the upper class side of town in front of a park. It was dark with plenty of trees- The woods. Climbed in the back seat. His body oil smelled good. i was just supposed to hug him for ten minutes. i took my shirt off cuz i didn't want to smell like work. HE touched me. i touched Him, next thing i know i'm straddled over Him. Lol He claims i raped him *ppssshh* i figured it didn't count since i didn't where a ski mask. But when He came.. ShhhAAAAAAAT!! Its was fucking good! i fucked my neck up but oh well it was worth it. i felt the vibrations from His body connect with mine. Rode Him harder. i came..He came..i came..He came..He came..He came. It was slow explosive it was unbelievable. i saw other galaxies the way He was stroking me... aaaah the memories....
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
*stretching* Good morning. i know its been awhile. Miss me much? No??!! What you mean :( oh well i have been working trying to make it. My birthday is next week.. Friday to be exact. Supposed to be spending a 3 day vacation with him. i can't wait. W/we were SUPPOSED to be celibate until then but ummm haha #fail. i went to see Master last night to cheer him up cuz he has been feeling down lately. i don't like to see Him that way at all so i said i would come just to give him a hug, you know... Be supportive. So W/we drove a little to the upper class side of town in front of a park. It was dark with plenty of trees- The woods. Climbed in the back seat. His body oil smelled good. i was just supposed to hug him for ten minutes. i took my shirt off cuz i didn't want to smell like work. HE touched me. i touched Him, next thing i know i'm straddled over Him. Lol He claims i raped him *ppssshh* i figured it didn't count since i didn't where a ski mask. But when He came.. ShhhAAAAAAAT!! Its was fucking good! i fucked my neck up but oh well it was worth it. i felt the vibrations from His body connect with mine. Rode Him harder. i came..He came..i came..He came..He came..He came. It was slow explosive it was unbelievable. i saw other galaxies the way He was stroking me... aaaah the memories....
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Big Bang Theory
Ever had a moment when you experienced sheer pleasure enveloping and consuming you till u can't stand it?? I have.. It was This past Tuesday. Long version or the short version? Ok ill give u the in between version....
Soooo i got a text from my ex- bestie (we fell out years ago but we cool now) to have a quick lunch date. It was my first time seeing her in almost 7 years. We met at Starbucks for a while. Caught up on old times, talked about new times. We didn't get too deep into convo as she snuck out from work but it was good catching up. We said out goodbyes. i made the drive to see Master. Picked Him up and went to do his hair. W/we sat outside in the busy intersection that had all kinds of people walking around enjoying the weather. Master sat as i braided his hair and W/we talked a little. i always zone out when i do hair for some reason.... Like i get hypnotized. Then this bald headed white comes up to us and says something like " Hey... You think you can do my hair like that next??", while rubbing the top of his head. i laugh and say "i'll see what i can do. " Its funny, every time i do Master's hair in a public place, there is always a token bald dude that wants braids lol. It never fails. Anyway, i finish 3/4 of Master's hair. We decide to move to avoid getting a parking ticket. W/we this ubercool music store, Sound Garden. It has any and everything a music lover could want. W/we look around a bit, left and went to a park to finish Master's hair. We sat in front of a fountain. The weather was so nice but it was windy so every now and then, we would get a blast of water that blew on us from the strong winds. Master said it was like being on a water ride. i finished his hair, sat on his lap, and we just sat n enjoyed the sites. W/we left there and went to another park. There we sat and just enjoyed each others company (again) Master gave me a massage while i sat on the bench, W/we cracked jokes, i read his ninja books, we watched the bad ass kids play in the playground, we talked some more, He let me sit on his lap and whisper things in his ear :) He tried to grope me and people walked by but tried to play it off ( haha) we sat and sat until the sun started to set. We overlooked the city skyline and at that point it was like nothing else in the world mattered at that moment except us and out Oneness. It started getting cold. W/we went to our favorite sushi bar (even though neither of us sushi), ordered or favs, He told me i looked pretty under the ambiance of the red lighting (I blushed) we ate (I don't remember chewing.. i was that hungry) had some sake with this terrible beer. W/we sent it back and got our usual: Tsunami Punch, a fish bowl filled with all our liquor favs. i was nice though... Not drunk. We left n went to The mansions. We shared feelings, good and bad. Pleasure and pain. The pain led to pleasure. Pleasure lead to cosmic explosions.... *sigh* His touch, His voice, His caress.. The way he held me and whispered in my ears.. He made me soooo wet that even i was surprised. They way he stroked my pussy was amazing. Penetration was sheer delight. W/we were these two forces that had suddenly collided into the great energy that just continued to grow and grow. How many times we exploded?? i lost count. We did it until out bodies screamed no but our minds begged yes. He made love to my mind, body, and soul. i felt his energy and power overcome and consume me and i accepted in. It felt so good. i wish everyone could feel that feeling. The moment where sex is more than just fucking. When emotions are involve partners first seduce the minds of each other; the end result being what Master was so gracious in showing me.
i hated to leave Him, but we all know all good things must come to an end. i hope for the day when good times will never end....
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Saturday, October 23, 2010
Lower than low..
i hate the way i have been feeling lately. i hate life as it is. Just one negative after negative. He is mad because i won't communicate. i don't know how. i'm just numb at this point. Just like looking at a face and not being able to tell a person's emotion. Like a blank piece of paper. i hate going to see Him sometimes. Only because we have such am awesome time together, its like an escape from reality. And when I leave him, its back to the real world. And i don't ever want to come back to reality. i have a lot to say but I don't know how to. i also feel that everyone has problems so what makes me so special? i don't want to seem like i'm whining. i don't know.. i just feel like my problems are a waste of time to tell.. Someone always has it worse somewhere in the world. *sigh*
... i'm in drone mode again.... Like a robot. Work, eat, sleep.. Work eat sleep.. Going through the motions. Work seven days a week.... Keep my mind of emotions i can stand to face. Always stay busy so i won't have time to think. Watch TV till i fall asleep so i won't think about the bad stuff.. If that don't work, have a few drinks or take a pill.. Yea.. That's make me fall asleep faster but its so hard to wake up in the morning...
Oh.. My clothes are done drying...
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... i'm in drone mode again.... Like a robot. Work, eat, sleep.. Work eat sleep.. Going through the motions. Work seven days a week.... Keep my mind of emotions i can stand to face. Always stay busy so i won't have time to think. Watch TV till i fall asleep so i won't think about the bad stuff.. If that don't work, have a few drinks or take a pill.. Yea.. That's make me fall asleep faster but its so hard to wake up in the morning...
Oh.. My clothes are done drying...
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Happy Birthday!
i'm old. 27. i'm thankful to see another year but i'm scared of getting old for some reason. My birthday has passed almost a month ago, but it was so fun i wanted to blog it.
Master spent it with me. i picked him up and W/we were off. Checked into an Aloft hotel. It was nice, modern looking. W/we were on the first floor right next to the bar. Master looked pleased so i was good. i think we fucked twice within the first 5 minutes we were there :) Well, i was exaggerating, but we attempted to be celibate for the few weeks leading up to my birthday. ( FAIL) So W/we pretty much jumped each others bones. He yanked my dress up, touched me they way i loved to be touched, pinched and sucked my nipples, wrapped his hands around my neck and fucked me hard. Then W/we carried it to the shower, Which was crazy nice. Hot and steamy. So many positions. i enjoyed sucking His dick on my knees with the water cascading off of the both of us. W/we were in the so long W/we couldn't breathe but it was crazy and felt so fuckin good. The first night W/we just chilled. W/we went to Fridays and ordered our favorite, Jack Daniels Chicken, ate at the hotel, and had a few drinks at the bar in our hotel. Hands down.. The bartender, who was super cool, made U/us the best drinks we have came across in a long time. He put something special in it cuz W/we were twisted and didn't have that many drinks, lol. Oh yea let me not forgot the part where Master and i were play fighting lol. W/we had to be going at it for about and hour and a half or so. He calls it Slapfest. i got mine in and He did to. W/we used to spar all the time so this was a good refresher. He kept getting me in my weak spots and i got him in his. But W/we pretty much called it a night.. i really didn't want to go out or anything because i was so tired from work. i just wanted to spend as much time as i could with my Master. W/we had some more intimate moments and crashed.
The next day W/we went to.. The Range! W/we have been waiting for the longest to go. i found a pretty nice one. i had my own piece. W/we got our eyes, ears, and targets. Master got a .38. Wwe had fun shooting. i gave Master a few pointers and W/we took turns on the lane. He's a good shot... If u talking head shots lol. i was good with my body shots. Then W/we switched guns.. i don't like .38s; Too much effort just to pull the trigger. Had fun though. W/we left and then went laser tagging which was fun. We played a couple games with some other random kids. W/we got hot and sweaty tagging each other. For some reason... i don't know how but them kids always got the higher rankings : / W/we need to have a plan of action for next time. But it was really fun. W/we ate at Panera Bread and had this awesome green tea/ lemonade mix. Hit up Walmart to see if W/we could find some cool things i could use to take a new picture for my twitter profile. That was a fail so we left. Went back to the hotel.. It was raining. W/we smoked.. Felt so good. Went back to the room and hooked up the Xbox to play Grand Theft Auto- San Andreas. Masterlikes LOVES that game sooo much.. His excitement when the "loading" screen game on was so entertaining!! It was like he was 8 and got the game for Christmas. Lol>> He did everything except run around screaming.. (wait.. did He?!) i was just happy he was happy. He played and I attempted to watch but my body was burning with desire to have him touch me. i felt like every nerve in my body was on fire.. He touched me, rubbed his hands up and down my body and massaged my soul. Felt like a million hands were all over me. He makes me feel sooooo good.. W/we played around some more, he went back to the game.. Showed me some cool stuff on it.. Played good music on it lol we was jammin to some Andre3000. But with all that feel good shit.. The best thing i got was collared. Yep. Me! i had to say my devoted affirmation which I had some trouble recalling, partially cuz i was under the influence but He helped my through it. He requested that i show him all my submissive positions and he was very impressed :) Called me a transformer because i knew many that he did not. He is so sweet. Did i mention he gave me a gift each night we were at the hotel? The first night he gave me a bluetooth. Second night my collar. W/we fucked until our bodies screamed "Stop!" It felt really good going to sleep by his side. His body is so warm and inviting. i slept like a baby.
Master spent it with me. i picked him up and W/we were off. Checked into an Aloft hotel. It was nice, modern looking. W/we were on the first floor right next to the bar. Master looked pleased so i was good. i think we fucked twice within the first 5 minutes we were there :) Well, i was exaggerating, but we attempted to be celibate for the few weeks leading up to my birthday. ( FAIL) So W/we pretty much jumped each others bones. He yanked my dress up, touched me they way i loved to be touched, pinched and sucked my nipples, wrapped his hands around my neck and fucked me hard. Then W/we carried it to the shower, Which was crazy nice. Hot and steamy. So many positions. i enjoyed sucking His dick on my knees with the water cascading off of the both of us. W/we were in the so long W/we couldn't breathe but it was crazy and felt so fuckin good. The first night W/we just chilled. W/we went to Fridays and ordered our favorite, Jack Daniels Chicken, ate at the hotel, and had a few drinks at the bar in our hotel. Hands down.. The bartender, who was super cool, made U/us the best drinks we have came across in a long time. He put something special in it cuz W/we were twisted and didn't have that many drinks, lol. Oh yea let me not forgot the part where Master and i were play fighting lol. W/we had to be going at it for about and hour and a half or so. He calls it Slapfest. i got mine in and He did to. W/we used to spar all the time so this was a good refresher. He kept getting me in my weak spots and i got him in his. But W/we pretty much called it a night.. i really didn't want to go out or anything because i was so tired from work. i just wanted to spend as much time as i could with my Master. W/we had some more intimate moments and crashed.
The next day W/we went to.. The Range! W/we have been waiting for the longest to go. i found a pretty nice one. i had my own piece. W/we got our eyes, ears, and targets. Master got a .38. Wwe had fun shooting. i gave Master a few pointers and W/we took turns on the lane. He's a good shot... If u talking head shots lol. i was good with my body shots. Then W/we switched guns.. i don't like .38s; Too much effort just to pull the trigger. Had fun though. W/we left and then went laser tagging which was fun. We played a couple games with some other random kids. W/we got hot and sweaty tagging each other. For some reason... i don't know how but them kids always got the higher rankings : / W/we need to have a plan of action for next time. But it was really fun. W/we ate at Panera Bread and had this awesome green tea/ lemonade mix. Hit up Walmart to see if W/we could find some cool things i could use to take a new picture for my twitter profile. That was a fail so we left. Went back to the hotel.. It was raining. W/we smoked.. Felt so good. Went back to the room and hooked up the Xbox to play Grand Theft Auto- San Andreas. Master
The third and final day, i was kinda sad the vacation was nearing an end but we checked into a Sheraton hotel that holds alot of memories for U/us. Master was surprised but i thought he was faking it. Our room was smaller but overall it was still nice.. not as nice asAloft bur still. Master bought me a charger for my cell phone which i really needed. We didn't really do anything special.. just lounged around. i don't really remember why but i caught a attitude for something. i don't know why i did but im certain that it was something stupid. i think 75% of the reason is because i wasted the rest of my cash on this nasty ass carry out food. It really pissed me off.. The food was so fuckin greasy, my rice box had a hole in the bottom that i didn't see until i got to the bottom of the box. i wanted to just throw the fuck up. Master got some never ending chicken nuggets. He ate some that night and the next day, more appeared in the container....... Yea.. that's what I said. Master got on my case but it was my fault. He then gave me my third and final gift which was a trophy that read my name (which i wont tell you lol ) and " Superwoman of the year- 2010" i was really at loss for words. Ever had a moment where time just seemed to stop? Yea i was caught in the Matrix. All i could do was cry. He just continues to show me so much love and how much he cares for me. He always pays attention to the little things that other people overlook. I hugged him for maybe ten minutes. He also gave me our Punisher shirt that i now use to sleep in. We smoked. i went in the shower. Master came in and closed the door. He started saying all these random things that he said wasn't supposed to be scary but i don't know because he was scaring he shit out of me!! lol!! to me i felt like he was tyring to conjure up Bloody Mary or The Bogeyman or some shit. His voice was all deep and scary! hahahahahaa!! i ran out the shower soooo fast it wasn't funny.. i don't even think i turned the water off. W/we were crackin up for at least an hour off that. W/we cuddled, watched TV and went to sleep. The next morning and got ready to leave. Master but my collar on and W/we did a a little "scene action". More of the good shit.. you already know....
Unfortunately all good things must come to an end. i'm Thankful that i was able to spend much needed time with Him....
More to come.... :D
 |
| SUPERWOMAN OF THE YEAR - 2010 |
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Mistress Me
I have been approached by a Dom via twitter that thinks I'm a good submissive. So much so that he has "sent" his two subs to me for advise. I felt kinda special that people are admiring my "sub behaviors". Of course all that is because of Master and what he has taught me so I really can't take the credit. Anyways, the two young ladies are new to the lifestyle. Of course I suggested my blog. I also gave them some authors that my Master suggested to me some time ago. The subs asked me questions that I expected they would. In the end, they were satisfied and still contact me from time to time with questions, comments, or concerns. I feel good helping others. Always makes my day :)
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Thursday, August 26, 2010
Complete the Following sentences..
I imagine myself as a slave being able to...totally submit,serve, and be everything to my Master so that he would want for anything. That He would have enough confidence in me to rely on me and know that i would not hesitate to cater to anything he wants.
As a slave, I wouldn't be allowed to..talk aback, be purposely disrespectful, raise my voice, or have a dominant attitude towards Master.
The idea that those things would be forbidden makes me feel...somewhat powerless because I'm not in control and i am used to having the upper hand in most cases.
Just once in my life, I'd like to...dominate someone the way Master ddominates me and to help them become a better person.
In my sexiest private fantasy, I...would be tied up and powerless in some type of dark dungeon and be forced to preform/withstand sexual acts or let myself and another woman sexually dominate Master (if He would allow such a thing).
I have a secret fetish for...necks/collarbones.
Being in a collar would make me feel...accomplished. Like i have proven myself worthy to have the opportunity to provide service to Master....To be officially "owned" is a big deal to me. It would be the equivalent of graduating/ getting a job promotion.
If I were forbidden to have an orgasm for a whole week, I'd...put that energy into writing, reading, or work on breathing and meditation exercises. i would also think about all the time Master has taken he time to please me physically and mentally and those thought would be my satisfaction.
When I masturbate, I often think of...how Master always takes his time to please me...how i please him...All the emotions involved along with the awesome memories attached to those feelings.
I'd like to learn how to...be of better service, become a better person, open up more/communicate better.
Serving my Master in public would make me feel...adventurous. Its will probably make onlookers curious and I could share my story and recruit. It can also make a great showcase.
My most erotic memory is...The Lake Pt.1. Master broke my orgasm virginity. i literally felt like i had an out of body experience. i saw, felt, heard things i never have before in my life. People always talk about being on "Cloud 9"... That day i checked in and have been there ever since.And how could I forget .... That July 4th....
I first learned about erotic slavehood when...I stumbled upon an erotic story of a house slave many years ago just browsing the web. Don't remember the story in detail but it opened the door to BDSM.
My favorite book is...The Art of Shen Ku/ The Coldest Winter Ever
My favorite movie is... Wille Wonka and The Chocolate Factory (old school version)
In my free time, I most often reflect on... pleasant memories or daydream
The thing I find the most attractive in other people is... Their confidence.
My highest priority in life is...my son, my future.
Sometimes I doubt I'll ever be able to...meet all the goals I set for my self career wise, educational wise, etc.
I think most of my romantic involvements have been...a fail.... used and abused. That's a section in my life i wish i could omit and do over but i cant. So i just block it out and pretend it never happened, replace bad memories with good daydreams and pretend it was my reality.
In the past, I was ashamed of...being a failure..being a fuck up. i still feel that way sometimes. That even my best is not good enough. Maybe that mindset pushes me harder.
I feel I've come to terms with...the fact that the past cannot be changed.
If there's one negative emotion I can't handle, it's...insecurity. i battle it everyday.
When a person raises their voice to me, I...want to choke the shit out of them.
The three things I associate with silence are...meditation, peace, serenity
P.S. - I love Christmas
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As a slave, I wouldn't be allowed to..talk aback, be purposely disrespectful, raise my voice, or have a dominant attitude towards Master.
The idea that those things would be forbidden makes me feel...somewhat powerless because I'm not in control and i am used to having the upper hand in most cases.
Just once in my life, I'd like to...dominate someone the way Master ddominates me and to help them become a better person.
In my sexiest private fantasy, I...would be tied up and powerless in some type of dark dungeon and be forced to preform/withstand sexual acts or let myself and another woman sexually dominate Master (if He would allow such a thing).
I have a secret fetish for...necks/collarbones.
Being in a collar would make me feel...accomplished. Like i have proven myself worthy to have the opportunity to provide service to Master....To be officially "owned" is a big deal to me. It would be the equivalent of graduating/ getting a job promotion.
If I were forbidden to have an orgasm for a whole week, I'd...put that energy into writing, reading, or work on breathing and meditation exercises. i would also think about all the time Master has taken he time to please me physically and mentally and those thought would be my satisfaction.
When I masturbate, I often think of...how Master always takes his time to please me...how i please him...All the emotions involved along with the awesome memories attached to those feelings.
I'd like to learn how to...be of better service, become a better person, open up more/communicate better.
Serving my Master in public would make me feel...adventurous. Its will probably make onlookers curious and I could share my story and recruit. It can also make a great showcase.
My most erotic memory is...The Lake Pt.1. Master broke my orgasm virginity. i literally felt like i had an out of body experience. i saw, felt, heard things i never have before in my life. People always talk about being on "Cloud 9"... That day i checked in and have been there ever since.And how could I forget .... That July 4th....
I first learned about erotic slavehood when...I stumbled upon an erotic story of a house slave many years ago just browsing the web. Don't remember the story in detail but it opened the door to BDSM.
My favorite book is...The Art of Shen Ku/ The Coldest Winter Ever
My favorite movie is... Wille Wonka and The Chocolate Factory (old school version)
In my free time, I most often reflect on... pleasant memories or daydream
The thing I find the most attractive in other people is... Their confidence.
My highest priority in life is...my son, my future.
Sometimes I doubt I'll ever be able to...meet all the goals I set for my self career wise, educational wise, etc.
I think most of my romantic involvements have been...a fail.... used and abused. That's a section in my life i wish i could omit and do over but i cant. So i just block it out and pretend it never happened, replace bad memories with good daydreams and pretend it was my reality.
In the past, I was ashamed of...being a failure..being a fuck up. i still feel that way sometimes. That even my best is not good enough. Maybe that mindset pushes me harder.
I feel I've come to terms with...the fact that the past cannot be changed.
If there's one negative emotion I can't handle, it's...insecurity. i battle it everyday.
When a person raises their voice to me, I...want to choke the shit out of them.
The three things I associate with silence are...meditation, peace, serenity
P.S. - I love Christmas
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Monday, August 23, 2010
LOVE: share it
i found this useful article for those who are involved in "open"/ alternative relationships. It definitely a great reference. In a nutshell, it tells you how to deal with jealousy from either party in the relationship. i was not always involved in an alternative relationship, the one im in now is my first. i won't lie- at tiems it gets very hard for me to deal with the fact that i have to be willing to "share the love". Sometimes i am insecure about whether i have what it takes to continue in the relationship.. whether or not i'm pretty enough, smart enough, out going enough as compared to the "competition". ive have realized that it really not about competing at all. its just a fact of being willing to give, share, and expand the feelings to the people that are truly deserving of it. Check it out...
http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/jealousy.html
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http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/jealousy.html
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The NeXXXt level...
Man i am hella tired.. im at work draggin my ass like shit but my fatigue still makes me smile. Master and i hung out all yesterday. It was such an awesome experience. W/we ate, did a lil drivin, a lil wishful window shoppin, got attacked by flies, went to about 25325 different Gamestop stores, sat in the park watching the passersby, looked at some fly ninja gear,the lamest sex shop ever, cringed at some greasy ass cheesecake, Sat at the lake and watched Ms.Pretty- in-pink and the Black Cougar jog...
Watched the sun set till the moon took its place....
"There they go" did a drive-by...
Time to go!
Then W/we got lifted.. i felt vibrations flowing throughout my body. Master helped me to tap into and and feed off the Universe's energy.W/we breathed, W/we Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Good girl gone bad....der??
Master put me on a punishment of sorts this week.. No social networking until he says i'm allowed. All communication goes through him. It kinda sucks but it was my fault. Hmmmm.. i don't even remember exactly what i did .. Oh yea- Alpha and Omega. i didn't abide by that rule so gotta deal with the consequences. i'm typing this blog but i won't post it till i ask cuz i'm not sure if one would consider this social networking. i me it is to an extent but not on the level of Facebook or nething. So by the time you read this it'll be a little old but oh well..
The good this is that i see him next week..... i can't wait. i get to make up for lost time. Not just for the sex part but for the reconnection. i'm feeling so disconnected from what W/we share. i'm very busy, working seven days a week, taking care of my son, family, bills, trying to take care of business. i feel old as hell, been getting sick, forgetful, lethargic, unable to concentrate and focus.. just so much bull shit. Not to mention stress. Its making my relationship suffer pretty badly. Some days, i just don't give a fuck about anything and i could care less, some days are very good but the roller coaster of emotions can be very intense.. and for some reason its really hard for me to regain my composure. You ever get the feeling the your screaming and crying your head off and no one can hear you? I feel like that almost everyday. Trying to please everyone and trying to keep up with doing the "right thing" is very hard. i know i cant please everyone but..lol.. i'm killing myself attempting to do that very thing. I feel like my negatives outweigh my positives. i have a huge problem with communication, always have. My lack of communication also adds to the strain of the relationship. He has never made me uncomfortable in a conversation, i just have such a hard time sharing my innermost feelings. He does read my mind sometimes but he really should not have to. i'm supposed to just willing talk about anything. He should not have to beg me for answers to his questions.. i know this.. i just don't know why this shit is so hard for me.
*sigh*
Yet and still through all this, Master he is very patient. with any of my wrong doings, of course i get tongue lashings, but he always believe that W/we must work harder.
He NEVER gives up on me.
He is always there when he knows i need him the most even though i don't accept the fact that He is always interested in my well being and he genuinely cares.
He is always strong when i cant be.
......... He means so much to me, i don't even have the words to begin to describe it. But if i love Him so.. why the hardships??
*sigh*
i need to go back to school.... i need to focus the negative energy to something positive. Plus i feel my intelligence fading. I aint calling myself stupid, I just need to get my brain back functioning outside of my job... i need a drink...
actually... i just need Him.
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The good this is that i see him next week..... i can't wait. i get to make up for lost time. Not just for the sex part but for the reconnection. i'm feeling so disconnected from what W/we share. i'm very busy, working seven days a week, taking care of my son, family, bills, trying to take care of business. i feel old as hell, been getting sick, forgetful, lethargic, unable to concentrate and focus.. just so much bull shit. Not to mention stress. Its making my relationship suffer pretty badly. Some days, i just don't give a fuck about anything and i could care less, some days are very good but the roller coaster of emotions can be very intense.. and for some reason its really hard for me to regain my composure. You ever get the feeling the your screaming and crying your head off and no one can hear you? I feel like that almost everyday. Trying to please everyone and trying to keep up with doing the "right thing" is very hard. i know i cant please everyone but..lol.. i'm killing myself attempting to do that very thing. I feel like my negatives outweigh my positives. i have a huge problem with communication, always have. My lack of communication also adds to the strain of the relationship. He has never made me uncomfortable in a conversation, i just have such a hard time sharing my innermost feelings. He does read my mind sometimes but he really should not have to. i'm supposed to just willing talk about anything. He should not have to beg me for answers to his questions.. i know this.. i just don't know why this shit is so hard for me.
*sigh*
Yet and still through all this, Master he is very patient. with any of my wrong doings, of course i get tongue lashings, but he always believe that W/we must work harder.
He NEVER gives up on me.
He is always there when he knows i need him the most even though i don't accept the fact that He is always interested in my well being and he genuinely cares.
He is always strong when i cant be.
......... He means so much to me, i don't even have the words to begin to describe it. But if i love Him so.. why the hardships??
*sigh*
i need to go back to school.... i need to focus the negative energy to something positive. Plus i feel my intelligence fading. I aint calling myself stupid, I just need to get my brain back functioning outside of my job... i need a drink...
actually... i just need Him.
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RR #1 ( Random Rant #1)
Greetings :) Are you enjoying the heatwave? Its 90- something degrees.. And i'm have on all black everything but only cuz its work related. i'm work now.. My bad breathed partner is driving. i allowed my mind to wander.. Imagining and contemplating. Its fun to imagine the impossible. You should try it. Its like taking a mini vacation. i was thinkin about getting married. My dream was to be married by 30 and have all children by 32. As i get closer to the big 3-0 i realize that it might not happen. i know its cool to be single blah blah blah. But at the end of the day, after a long day i wanna come home to love, sensual kisses, and bear hugs. With the exception of living arrangements, i get what i need. He never gives up on me, He will listen, touch me, punish me, love me.... But that attention is shared and I don't know how long it will last. At the same time, i knew what i was getting into in the beginning... i'm just not sure if i should place all my confidence is something that may not last a lifetime. im not saying i don't believe in what W/we share but i guess my insecurities are getting the best of me- the fear of he unknown....
i have to let go because i feel its holding me back from something grand...i don't wanna miss out
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i have to let go because i feel its holding me back from something grand...i don't wanna miss out
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Sunday, August 8, 2010
Lately...
Feeling out of touch.
Feeling lost.
Feel like Im at some crossroad but I dont know which direction to turn.
So should a pray to God for a devine intervention? Or depend on the universe to reverse the negative energies?
Or should I just figure this out on my own?
I feel like I deserve these thing for my past wrongs. So I cant be mad... I guess what don't kill you makes you stronger and I need that strength.
Eyes hurt from crying...
But tears cleanse the soul.
Sent on the Sprint Now Network from my BlackBerry
Friday, July 30, 2010
3's Company.. Or more
Hi! I kno.. I'm a bad girl.. I haven't been blogging like I'm supposed to.. This past week as been rough.. I was on my "Mother Nature" and I've been through a whirlwind of emotions.. I went from crying my freakin eyes out to giggling n joking around. Crazy shit.. Yet I am happy to report that I am in good spirits right now. Besides that fact that I've been working like a Hebrew slave, I have been feeling very productive. Sexually.. I'm so ready to jump on a dick its not funny.. I'm tired of playin wit my pussy. I mean not really but I just need feel a real live dick stretching my pussy walls a lil bit, you dig?? I kno u feel me though.. I've been having these crazy dreams about women.. Like sexually stimulating dreams. The first one was with Nicki Menaj... We were in some type of hotel or room and we was talkin some freaky shit.. One thing led to another.. I was suckin her neck, lickin her titties, then I threw her leg on my shoulder and was eatin her pussy.. Soon as I was gettin into that shit a gatdamn TEXT MESSAGE woke me up! Hahaha u talkin bout mad!!! Then last night I dreamt me and my Master went out.. He had a girl and I had a girl.. We were all out eating at a Japanese restaurant.. The kind where u have to take ur shoes off and sit on the floor. I can't remember the details but let's just say we had one big party.. Everyones mouth was put to work... Back to reality now..
My coworker at my PT job been flirtin with me.. I aint one to mix business with pleasure but hell. Its just my PT job.. She act like she wanna get licked or something. She flirts hard but it works for her. So Ima put my seduction skills to the test n see how shit goes. She's cute. Ethiopian or Eritrean.. Can't tell..she has a gorgeous face though. Can't wait to see her again. Gotta get her digits. Then its the girl with the dreads. She's from NY. 5'5 , a buck 30. She's a firecracker but you know the say good things come in small packages ( that does NOT apply to "The Thing" *subliminal*) but I like her. She's wild. She says she won't have a problem handling me just cuz I'm tall.. I told her it aint to hard for me to pick her bite sized ass up and... I'm sorry hahaha NEWaY man I gotta be @ work @ 6.. Its after 12.. Ima call Dreads n listen to her accent..
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
My coworker at my PT job been flirtin with me.. I aint one to mix business with pleasure but hell. Its just my PT job.. She act like she wanna get licked or something. She flirts hard but it works for her. So Ima put my seduction skills to the test n see how shit goes. She's cute. Ethiopian or Eritrean.. Can't tell..she has a gorgeous face though. Can't wait to see her again. Gotta get her digits. Then its the girl with the dreads. She's from NY. 5'5 , a buck 30. She's a firecracker but you know the say good things come in small packages ( that does NOT apply to "The Thing" *subliminal*) but I like her. She's wild. She says she won't have a problem handling me just cuz I'm tall.. I told her it aint to hard for me to pick her bite sized ass up and... I'm sorry hahaha NEWaY man I gotta be @ work @ 6.. Its after 12.. Ima call Dreads n listen to her accent..
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Testing.... again
This is a test
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Well then... now that I know how to send blog from my crackberry.... i shall commence on the go..
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Well then... now that I know how to send blog from my crackberry.... i shall commence on the go..
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Fun Times
Yea I know.. its been awhile. Life has been busy.. you know I got two jobs, and a son..I also try to make enough time so that I can see Master on a regular basis.. well as often as I can anyway. It's crazy man... I just have so many thoughts right now. What's that kind of writing where you just write without thinkin? Well not with out thinkin but with out regard of how it flows just as long as you write down all the thoughts that come to you at once... Yea that's how my thoughts are right now on a sexual level though. Freak!! yea yea I know. But fuck the bullshit, I ma do what I do while im young. I don't even know how to start. I LOVE my sex life!! And I love sharing it with Him. From our first July 4th in 2006..(drifts off in those thoughts)... oh sorry...I'm back..wait...damn... its almost our anniversary of sorts.. i mean really.. I have such a sexual appetite yet my passion is not only link through the physicality of intimacy- myself and Him are connected through a remarkable twist of emotions, thoughts, and like desires. W/we are constantly testing our limits for the better of the both of us. W/we have this type of out-of-this- world connection that is hard to explain but if you are in my type of relationship u would understand. It probably doesn't even have a name nor explained, only felt.
W/e have so much random fun man!! Lol..like the time we got hot n heavy in the car.. W/we were chillin in the backseat, He was playin wit my pussy, lickin my ear #nshit, i was moanin something crazy. i left the AC on cuz it was crazy hot outside like about 80 degrees.. He said "Maybe you should turn the car off to save gas" I turned off the engine but the AC was still blowin.. almost two hours and a set of drag racers later (yea.. to men park RIGHT NEXT to us and was giving each other blow jobs ... a little bit of oursleves died that night lmao.) One pussy squirt later, i was ready to go home and the battery was dead. To make a long story short we got a jump from security at the hospital down the street.. Bmore police aint shit... what cop doesn't carry jumper cables?? but yea that was Something else.
Last Monday, i got my tongue pierced. i aint gonna fake, i was nervous but i have been wanting to do it for such along time. Master came with me :D. So we get to the spot, Ink Attic and shoot the breeze wit my piercer, John for a quick minute. Then we walk upstairs and i sit on the lil chair/bed thingie, swish sum nasty ass cleaner in my mouth.. John says "It wont take long it gonna be really quick just stick your tongue out as far as you can and dont move." So i stick my tongue out as far as I can. "Wow you got a long tongue", John says. Master says something like "Damn! I aint never new your shit was that long.. If i hadda known...." his voice trails off cuz i peep the needle that is about to go through my flesh and i get scared. I sideeye Him and He gives me His hand to hold. I take it gladly. So John asks if im ready and Im like yea let's get this shit over with.. I sqeeze His hand in preperation for the pain lol. im sorry but im a baby when it comes to needles.. but in goes the needle. The pain is white and hot like lightening. All the fuck im tryin to do is keep my tongue out. im moanin in pain and He is like "Aww shit! She moanin like that...i might nut on myself.."im laughin and moanin at this point like really?!?!. Then it was over. All i could do was just sit on his lap with my head on his shoulder while he rubbed my back. It took like iono... not even a minute but u know how time be hittin the Matrix freeze frames when something u dont like is about to happen. Its funny cuz afterwards W/we were like "Soooooo how soon can i suck dick??" 4 to 6 weeks? DAMN! lol. Its healing nicely though.. still gotta wait 5 more week before I can suck His dick, whick I love to do cuz its soooooooooo thick n long.. I just love wrappin my lips around it and just suckin the essence out of him..whew but um.. what was I sayin? Yea so um how is your day goin?
Its funny cuz people look at my type of relationship and say that i'm limited but i tell them that i have no limits. I have never been happier with an individual of the opposite sex like I am now. He is always interested in what im thinkin and how I feel.. after all these years, his interest in me has not dwindled. He never has anything to hide, he is always open with me. He has a burning passion for whatever he sets his mind on getting. i can go on and on but i think that His greatness can much better be experienced through direct contact vs heresay. I have never felt so passionately about someone ever. But i like this feeling. i cant wait to see what else is in store for us.. maybe another drunk night at Ra sushi bar, him rubbin my clit in a movie, fuckin in a hotel room while weird fat lady looks at us with her crooked smile (don't ask...please), walkin on the boardwalk next to the beach, bettin money with shady Asians, or strip club hoppin, im down.. Always
W/e have so much random fun man!! Lol..like the time we got hot n heavy in the car.. W/we were chillin in the backseat, He was playin wit my pussy, lickin my ear #nshit, i was moanin something crazy. i left the AC on cuz it was crazy hot outside like about 80 degrees.. He said "Maybe you should turn the car off to save gas" I turned off the engine but the AC was still blowin.. almost two hours and a set of drag racers later (yea.. to men park RIGHT NEXT to us and was giving each other blow jobs ... a little bit of oursleves died that night lmao.) One pussy squirt later, i was ready to go home and the battery was dead. To make a long story short we got a jump from security at the hospital down the street.. Bmore police aint shit... what cop doesn't carry jumper cables?? but yea that was Something else.
Last Monday, i got my tongue pierced. i aint gonna fake, i was nervous but i have been wanting to do it for such along time. Master came with me :D. So we get to the spot, Ink Attic and shoot the breeze wit my piercer, John for a quick minute. Then we walk upstairs and i sit on the lil chair/bed thingie, swish sum nasty ass cleaner in my mouth.. John says "It wont take long it gonna be really quick just stick your tongue out as far as you can and dont move." So i stick my tongue out as far as I can. "Wow you got a long tongue", John says. Master says something like "Damn! I aint never new your shit was that long.. If i hadda known...." his voice trails off cuz i peep the needle that is about to go through my flesh and i get scared. I sideeye Him and He gives me His hand to hold. I take it gladly. So John asks if im ready and Im like yea let's get this shit over with.. I sqeeze His hand in preperation for the pain lol. im sorry but im a baby when it comes to needles.. but in goes the needle. The pain is white and hot like lightening. All the fuck im tryin to do is keep my tongue out. im moanin in pain and He is like "Aww shit! She moanin like that...i might nut on myself.."im laughin and moanin at this point like really?!?!. Then it was over. All i could do was just sit on his lap with my head on his shoulder while he rubbed my back. It took like iono... not even a minute but u know how time be hittin the Matrix freeze frames when something u dont like is about to happen. Its funny cuz afterwards W/we were like "Soooooo how soon can i suck dick??" 4 to 6 weeks? DAMN! lol. Its healing nicely though.. still gotta wait 5 more week before I can suck His dick, whick I love to do cuz its soooooooooo thick n long.. I just love wrappin my lips around it and just suckin the essence out of him..whew but um.. what was I sayin? Yea so um how is your day goin?
Its funny cuz people look at my type of relationship and say that i'm limited but i tell them that i have no limits. I have never been happier with an individual of the opposite sex like I am now. He is always interested in what im thinkin and how I feel.. after all these years, his interest in me has not dwindled. He never has anything to hide, he is always open with me. He has a burning passion for whatever he sets his mind on getting. i can go on and on but i think that His greatness can much better be experienced through direct contact vs heresay. I have never felt so passionately about someone ever. But i like this feeling. i cant wait to see what else is in store for us.. maybe another drunk night at Ra sushi bar, him rubbin my clit in a movie, fuckin in a hotel room while weird fat lady looks at us with her crooked smile (don't ask...please), walkin on the boardwalk next to the beach, bettin money with shady Asians, or strip club hoppin, im down.. Always
Saturday, June 12, 2010
How much is too much?
Hello all! How are you guys on this gorgeous day... ok I'm lying. It's hot as fuck- even my sweat is sweating lol. Wish it was legal to walk putside butt ass naked when the temperature reaches over 85 degrees. But anyways, enough of that. I have to be on my buisness with this post cuz Master gave me this task to do yesterday but I fell asleep.. I hope the ass whoopin consequences wont be bad.. He knew of my situation (-_-). Today's topic: Safewords...from my point of view.
In the world of BDSM there is.. somewhat of a ..how should I say.. challenge to push your limits. In this "game" of Master/Dom/Top pleasing sub/slave/bottom and vise-versa, we can say that each party want to please the other as much as possible to the other's satisfaction. This includes physical and mental stimulation. Its in our nature as humans that we don't want to be the loser or the one that gives up; we dont want to appear inferior to anyone at anytime. In the world of BDSM, we often like to be pushed to our limits, maybe to see what our minds and body can with stand, to please our partners, or even to see our own mental/physical strengths. My philospohy is "Do what you can stand". Safewords provide us a way to our limits in a healthy way. The key is "safe, sane, and consensual". Living by this rule, one cannot go wrong. It simply means that both parties have the understanding that a scene can happen and insures that noone will be hurt or forced to sustain what they cannot handle. They should be a random yet uncommon word. Light bulb, jello, clouds, chicken, for example. Lol.. I know some of those example are kinda corny but they should be words that are totally irrelevant to sex. "Stop" is not good a great example because i know for me, stop means "please keep going". Safewords do not have to be actual words, they can be an action or gesture- slapping a surface with your hand 3 times in a row or maybe a consecutive cough.. once again maybe corny examples but never the less, im sure u catch what im saying. It is important that these safewords be address and discussed between both parties prior to a scene.
The use of safewords should not be viewed as a bitch move or a sign of weakness . My Dom instructed me to utilize two words while we are in a scene: "I submit" and "Mercy". Lets say He is paddling me ( #dontjudgeme im a sucker for pain... it turns me on), "Mercy" is my way of saying "It hurts but dont stop i can handle a bit more." "I submit" is my way of saying "I've had enough and I would like if you stop please." All they while, He is keeping track of my response to his actions. He may find it best to stop even if i say keep going and if He feels is its necessary then so be it even if i disagree. Failure to comply with a safeword can be grounds of non consensual activity and could be mentally and physically damaging. Sometimes our egos get the best of us. I am guilty of this: not using a safe word. This is a display of selflessness, not wanting to displease our partner(s). We go out of our way to prove ourself to show that we can with stand. As a Dom/ Master/ Top it is your responsibility to take charge and examine the body language of your sub. Its is your responsibility to ensure your sub is safe and unharmed. If you are flogging your sub and s/he starts to bleed but does not use a safeword, common sense will tell you to stop Actually it should not even get that far but u catch my drift.
So in conclusion have fun and play safe people. Cheers!!
In the world of BDSM there is.. somewhat of a ..how should I say.. challenge to push your limits. In this "game" of Master/Dom/Top pleasing sub/slave/bottom and vise-versa, we can say that each party want to please the other as much as possible to the other's satisfaction. This includes physical and mental stimulation. Its in our nature as humans that we don't want to be the loser or the one that gives up; we dont want to appear inferior to anyone at anytime. In the world of BDSM, we often like to be pushed to our limits, maybe to see what our minds and body can with stand, to please our partners, or even to see our own mental/physical strengths. My philospohy is "Do what you can stand". Safewords provide us a way to our limits in a healthy way. The key is "safe, sane, and consensual". Living by this rule, one cannot go wrong. It simply means that both parties have the understanding that a scene can happen and insures that noone will be hurt or forced to sustain what they cannot handle. They should be a random yet uncommon word. Light bulb, jello, clouds, chicken, for example. Lol.. I know some of those example are kinda corny but they should be words that are totally irrelevant to sex. "Stop" is not good a great example because i know for me, stop means "please keep going". Safewords do not have to be actual words, they can be an action or gesture- slapping a surface with your hand 3 times in a row or maybe a consecutive cough.. once again maybe corny examples but never the less, im sure u catch what im saying. It is important that these safewords be address and discussed between both parties prior to a scene.
The use of safewords should not be viewed as a bitch move or a sign of weakness . My Dom instructed me to utilize two words while we are in a scene: "I submit" and "Mercy". Lets say He is paddling me ( #dontjudgeme im a sucker for pain... it turns me on), "Mercy" is my way of saying "It hurts but dont stop i can handle a bit more." "I submit" is my way of saying "I've had enough and I would like if you stop please." All they while, He is keeping track of my response to his actions. He may find it best to stop even if i say keep going and if He feels is its necessary then so be it even if i disagree. Failure to comply with a safeword can be grounds of non consensual activity and could be mentally and physically damaging. Sometimes our egos get the best of us. I am guilty of this: not using a safe word. This is a display of selflessness, not wanting to displease our partner(s). We go out of our way to prove ourself to show that we can with stand. As a Dom/ Master/ Top it is your responsibility to take charge and examine the body language of your sub. Its is your responsibility to ensure your sub is safe and unharmed. If you are flogging your sub and s/he starts to bleed but does not use a safeword, common sense will tell you to stop Actually it should not even get that far but u catch my drift.
So in conclusion have fun and play safe people. Cheers!!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Bo-red .....
Kinda bored so I was trying to find a way to spruce up my blog.. the only cool thing I found so far was my lil fish tank... Left click so that they can get their fish food :) Other than that.. blah.. Its a rainy cloudy day that started out all worng. I overslept, despite that fact I went to bed early last night. UGH.. Wanted to see Him today but.. it depends on if I will have to spend extra time here. Then it cold as hit in this office... Feels like Im stading outside in snow. I think Im gonna go to Starbucks and get me my fav Grande extra hot-whip-whip white chocolate mocha and drink the worries away.... Haha He sent me a funny text.. He always manages to make me smile even on the worst of days. I would like a nice long walk in the park with Him just blowing the breeze because we can.. *sigh and grin* He makes everything better.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
So you think you have skills??
Good mornting!! I hope all is well with all 2 of my followers on here.. haha its all good though. I'm at work kinda bored so why not blog right? I have to keep the momentum going. This past Sunday, I visited Borders book store and purchased two of the best books I've read in quite some time. Both books are by Robert Greene. I won't give the titles up.. I would think that if u are curious enough, you would do the research for yourself..I wont make it easier for you. But I will say that though I am still in the process of reading the books, I am definitely seeing the world a little differently and opened up my imagination a bit more.. So check that out. Might I add.. don't abuse what you think you can ultimately capable of.. It can destroy you. So on with the show...
Today's main topic is to discuss ways that a submissive/slave can better themselves; How they can make themselves more purposeful. It can be rules to live by for beginners and a "tune-up" for veterans. There are 14 steps to becoming a better submissive. I will only go through 7 today and the rest at another time. These helpful hints and more can be found on www.submissiveguide.com/topics/defining-submission/
**"Pencils and paper students!!!"**
1. Move With Purpose- This includes posture. Move like you have somewhere to go but that does not mean rush like you are in a hurry. Be punctual yet utilize your use of body language while doing so. Be poetry in motion, pleasing to the eye and beautiful to watch. It has nothing to do necessarily with how beautiful or ugly unattractive your are. Your movements should always ooze with confidence that your are glad to serve your Master no matter what the task, even if its something you don't want to do.
2. Think before you speak- Yea i need to pay a10shun to this cuz my mouth always gets mefucked up punished :/ Basically show that you can communicate verbally, not necessarily with body language. Show your Dom that you can effectively state what your feeling. Make clear and concise statements. And if you really don't know what to say, just state exactly that or revisit the subject a little later. A real Dom will (should) respect the fact that you want to express yourself clearly and would allow you to do so. So basically, talk like you have some damn sense.
3. Enhance basic service-This kind of falls in line with rule #5. Whatever your do, add a twist to make it a little better. Maybe instead of cooking dinner and leaving it on the stove, you can pretend your a waitress and serve Him/ Her their food as if you both were in a restaurant. Ok.. maybe that idea is far fetched BUT im sure you catch my drift. Add the extra "Umph" to what ever you do.
4. Learn a new skill- This is where a sub can let their light so shine. Impress you Dom with something new you have learned or experience. Continue to show and prove that along with improving the life of Him/Her, you are also working on improving your life too. Learn something that maybe the both of you may like. Or you can pick up something that your Dom may not know about then introduce it to Him/ Her and hey, they may like it too. Always work on making yourself more marketable. I'm working on getting my "shit" together to pursue Portuguese and American Sign Language. More power to me!! *fist pump*
5. Kneel or sit at His/Her feet when they are busy- A good way to impress your Dom- be available when your not needed and always ready to answer call of service. If you know your Dom is going to be busy doing something, for example ummm.. Lets says H/She is exercising in the home in the gym (basement). H/She really does not need your immediate assistance for anything in particular while running on the treadmill but you can for example have a bottle of cool water, a towel to dry sweat, lil snacks, start a soothing bath waiting... Things like that. Kinda of going above and beyond but in a very subtle way. Its the little things that count and they will be noticed and remembered.
6. Ask for help from senior subs- Subs that have been offering service for a while are a great way to expand and enhance your knowledge. Most likely they have been through what you may be currently going through and can offer solutions to your questions. They can be somewhat of a mentor. But as always be careful of who you take advise from. Not everyone has your best interests in mind and we all know what that's like :/
7. Meditate on your submission- my Master always reminds me to do this, not just on the topic of submission but just to meditate in general. Pick a nice quite place, wait till bed time or wake up a few minutes early and think about your role. Think about your past, present, and how you would like to continue in the future. How you can make things better. Its a good way to recenter and realign your self with the universe and with yourself so that you can begin to improve on your overall lifestyle.
Whew hand cramp... guys I hope these tips were helpful!! I guess I have to actually go and work for my money now :( haha I kid, I kid. Peace and Blessings :-*
Today's main topic is to discuss ways that a submissive/slave can better themselves; How they can make themselves more purposeful. It can be rules to live by for beginners and a "tune-up" for veterans. There are 14 steps to becoming a better submissive. I will only go through 7 today and the rest at another time. These helpful hints and more can be found on www.submissiveguide.com/topics/defining-submission/
**"Pencils and paper students!!!"**
7 Things you can do to improve your submission
2. Think before you speak- Yea i need to pay a10shun to this cuz my mouth always gets me
3. Enhance basic service-This kind of falls in line with rule #5. Whatever your do, add a twist to make it a little better. Maybe instead of cooking dinner and leaving it on the stove, you can pretend your a waitress and serve Him/ Her their food as if you both were in a restaurant. Ok.. maybe that idea is far fetched BUT im sure you catch my drift. Add the extra "Umph" to what ever you do.
4. Learn a new skill- This is where a sub can let their light so shine. Impress you Dom with something new you have learned or experience. Continue to show and prove that along with improving the life of Him/Her, you are also working on improving your life too. Learn something that maybe the both of you may like. Or you can pick up something that your Dom may not know about then introduce it to Him/ Her and hey, they may like it too. Always work on making yourself more marketable. I'm working on getting my "shit" together to pursue Portuguese and American Sign Language. More power to me!! *fist pump*
5. Kneel or sit at His/Her feet when they are busy- A good way to impress your Dom- be available when your not needed and always ready to answer call of service. If you know your Dom is going to be busy doing something, for example ummm.. Lets says H/She is exercising in the home in the gym (basement). H/She really does not need your immediate assistance for anything in particular while running on the treadmill but you can for example have a bottle of cool water, a towel to dry sweat, lil snacks, start a soothing bath waiting... Things like that. Kinda of going above and beyond but in a very subtle way. Its the little things that count and they will be noticed and remembered.
6. Ask for help from senior subs- Subs that have been offering service for a while are a great way to expand and enhance your knowledge. Most likely they have been through what you may be currently going through and can offer solutions to your questions. They can be somewhat of a mentor. But as always be careful of who you take advise from. Not everyone has your best interests in mind and we all know what that's like :/
7. Meditate on your submission- my Master always reminds me to do this, not just on the topic of submission but just to meditate in general. Pick a nice quite place, wait till bed time or wake up a few minutes early and think about your role. Think about your past, present, and how you would like to continue in the future. How you can make things better. Its a good way to recenter and realign your self with the universe and with yourself so that you can begin to improve on your overall lifestyle.
Whew hand cramp... guys I hope these tips were helpful!! I guess I have to actually go and work for my money now :( haha I kid, I kid. Peace and Blessings :-*
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Everything has a purpose....
So I guess this is my first OFFICIAL entry.. Thanks for passing through.. i currently have ONE follower... myself lol its all good though. Actually, the reason why i am doing this is because i want to better myself as a sub to my Master. Lately i have been not been as focused as i was when i first began this "thing W/we have". In the beginning things are always good, going the way one would want it to but after awhile you (not per se) get comfortable. You don't dress the same, have the same conversations.. the need to impress kinda goes out the window because you figure " Why work for something I already have?". Unfortunately that was an attitude that overcame me and the only time i decided to work harder was when i was threatened to be replaced, which should not be. But to make a long story short, I decided to do research on how I could become a better sub. I ran into http://www.submissiveguide.com/ which gave great info... (i will go into details about certain subjects on other posts) The one article that caught my eye was the one that said that a sub should keep a diary. Its a good way to state your feelings, every day occurrences, just random things. You could start by stating your purpose, why your in a bdsm relationship and what you expect to gain and what u are willing to give. A sub should either talk it over with their Master/ Dom for any specific directions on how to make entries or it can be somewhat of a surprise that can be given as a gift when complete to show your Master/ Dom how far you have came in your development as a person.
So i decided to start this journey through the development of the blog. This blog will be my diary in which I will state my question comments and concerns... I find it easier to write then to talk about things which is really not a good trait because my Master get very frustrated when I don't communicate with him.. so hope fully this will help me to become better. There is so much I cant wait to talk about... but later for that.. i don't wanna get to excited then run out of topics :)
~** Peace **~
This is a test..
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