From the beginning.....

           i received some new instructions from Master. i'll get into that later. i found this email i'm gonna post in the next few lines. This is how it all started....


             i believe that i have been introduced to a new chapter in my life that i am very eager to take part of. i've always wanted to engadge in having the oppurtunity to submit to someone comfortable enough to dominate me ... even if it is against my own will. This some what "secret" lifestyle will give me the oppurtunity to totally use myself for the satisfaction of someone else. i am very sassy and can be outspoken and love to have the upper hand majority of the time. i would enjoy going through the process of having someone "tame" me and use me for their own personal pleasure. Though this is not something i will do as a permanent role, i am more than willing to take on my role as necessary and at the request of my dominator. i have started doing research on the topic of BSDM and though i dont agree with everything, i am facinated with the unknown pleasure i can recieve from this experience.



            In going into my role as a submissive, i want to be put into my "subspace" so i can be at my most comfortable and relaxed state in preperation for me to fulfill what my dominant want me to do. I want to be rewarded well for my good deeds and punished well for my bad deeds.i accept that i will be physically punished and called what ever my dominant feels i should be addressed as during that time if im bad and i am willing to accept. i accept punishment if my dominant feels i am trying to willfully act on my own feelings/actions or if i willfully go against rules. i at no time want to feel that i am in control. i want the illusion that my very existance depends on that of the one who controls me.


I have researched terms of the BSDM world that held intrest to me:

Gag ball: A device used to prevent a sub from speaking or crying out.


Bondage: Technique used to render a submissive physically helpless.


Bottom: A person who recieves pain or bondage in an SM scene


Breath Control: A form of edgeplay in which the top restricts the bottom's ability to breathe by constricting the neck of blocking mouth/nose.


Collar: Worn around the neck, signifies ownership;wearer is property of dominant


Collaring ceremony: Domplaces collar on sub as a formalized commitment


Erotic Power Exchange: Two partners exchange power in an erotic setting.


Head play: AKA mind play, mind fucking, head games-any kind of manipulation by dom that hieghtens anticipation and fear in an emtionally masochistic bottom in which intensifies the bottom's ertoic response. Includes verbal abuse or complex senerios that confuse/surprise bottom into deeper subspace.


Masochism: Ability to derive pleasure form pain.


Power exchange: consensual transfer of power from sub to dom. Exchange takes place when returned energy from dom empowers submissive


SAM(smart ass masochist):A sub who knowingly misbehaves in order to recieve attention.


Subspace: A trance-like state of mind and body the sub experiences during a scene.




    As of yesterday Dec. 11,2008, upon the consent of my dom, i (un)offcially offer my self to commence the role of a subbmissive upon the request of my dominant.




Although Master and i have been knowing each other for almost 10 years, the BDsM part of O/our relationship is within these past 3 years or so. Itss really cool that we had a well estabblished friendship before wW/we got into the lifestyle. It helps up maintain the bonds W/we share. Even if i one day decide that this lifestyle is no longer what i want, Master and i will still remain the best of friends.

Over the next few days, i will be posting emails that i sent to Master when our D/s relationship began. It was back when i was "hungry" for what i wanted. Reading them again is helpful so that i wont forget how eager i was to please Him and meet His needs..