Ugh


          Man.. This training is so stressful... It is taking up so much of my day to day life. i really have been giving it my all. i mean my everything.. Emotionally and physically. It is sucking the life out of me. Apparently, i got some what of a tongue thrashing from Master this morning. i'm not going to go into detail but there was some confusion to "rules and regulation". Then He told me that lately i was being lax and careless, that a couple days out the month i always get this attitude. And this conversation happened on my way to work. i tried not to think about it, but it was really bugging the hell out of me because i was already stresses out to the max because of work. ii tried to hold it together but later on that day, i ended up breaking down and a few people noticed. i hate for people to see me that way but in a way i didn't care because... i was just under so much stress. i am giving everything i have everyday. i am so tired mentally and physically. Sometimes the last thing you need to hear is negative shit when negative is surrounding you. But at least i got through the day. Sometimes i feel better when i'm alone, when i just talk to myself in my mind... Mostly because i think i am the only one that an understand me the best.

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